So I told you almost a month ago that I'm writing a book. Now that I've left you hanging for a few weeks, I'm ready to tell you a little bit more about it.
It's not a book I would have chosen to write, but it's a book I need to write, one I believe will be helpful to people like me. It's a book about infertility, miscarriage, and stillbirth and about where God can be found in these circumstances. It's a book about my own story, but it's also a book about the stories of other families I'm interviewing who've walked through one or more of these trials. It's a book of creative nonfiction that wrestles with some hard theological questions.
I am not writing this book because my story is particularly unusual or notable. Most of the families featured in the book have endured loss more profound and extensive than my own. I am not writing this book because I know how to walk through pain and loss or because I've figured out exactly how to discover God in the midst of it.
I'm writing this book because I'm right in the middle of grief and hope and uncertainty and disappointments, trying to grow our family, not knowing if or when that will happen. I'm writing this book because every day is a struggle for me to trust God, because I often fail to do so, because I desperately need the stories of others who've met God in their own pain related to having children.
I'm writing this book because I believe God asked me to, and already, His fingertips are all over this project. I'm only a few chapters in, have many words and challenges ahead of me, but I have a lot of faith that this book will one day be.